I am definitely well practiced in the art of procrastination. Over the past few weeks I have been waiting for a moment to redraft my work once more. Its been a few weeks, and no work has been redrafted. It’s not as though I cant find the time. I only work two mornings a week! All my friends are off at uni or off in exotic countries while I am in boring old Hertfordshire. So I don’t really have an excuse, I cant say I have been ridiculously busy with work or off socialising with my friends. I don’t even know WHAT I have been doing. My seventeen year old self would have loved a chance to be bored and have nothing to do. I think I would rather be back at the school I hated, with the mad headmaster screaming at us in full school assemblies while we sat cross legged on the cold floor. Instead I am dreaming of going to university next year and meeting new friends and having the fun I should be having now.
Despite this, I do want to write, I love it, I enjoy redrafting and I want to get my work to it’s highest standard. So what have I been doing today? I woke up, washed my hair, tidied my room (I know – procrastination at its highest!) I went to the drama group that I help at and now I am typing this!
When I had my treatment I had to come off of all of my medication and go on a horrible boring diet. I couldn’t eat anything nice like chocolate, cake, sweets, even bread! Once the hospital put me back on medication and I was allowed to finally consume my beloved food my brain didn’t seem to work. I couldn’t write. I got upset once and my mum asked why, I told her it was because I couldn’t write anymore. She thought I meant I couldn’t write any more of my current book and suggested I start something else. What I meant was I couldn’t write. It was like I had lost that part of my brain.
Perhaps this means every time I get a sniffle and feel under the weather I will temporarily lose all motivation and brain power. Who knows. Maybe I’ll give it another couple of weeks and see if my brain kicks back in to gear.